fartminusf was lucky enough to sit down with the world famous intern at the office in portland last month. i was in pdx for an art show fun was having and thats when i spotted him. we spoke of life and Norwegian fishing techniques. he bought alot of beer for the friends united party, i told him to save the recite and i would pay him back. i never did. i felt bad. i still feel bad. the intern is a small piece of heaven that fell down into our laps. here is his interview. it is boring as shit, but what do you expect from the fartminusf?





Fartminusf- how many chicks have you been with?

Intern- you meen like been with intimetly, like BEEEN WIITH!?

Fartminusf- yes

Intern- um, well, we are going to have to say zero

Fartminusf- Zero?

Intern- zero, haha, I kid you not man, I still got my V card.

Fartminusf- ohh my god so the next question would have been: “have you ever been laid because of your intern status?” but I guess we can’t use that one now

Fartminusf- best trade off anyone has given you in the store?

Intern- ummm I haven’t really been here that long so that sort of scenario hasn’t really come up

Fartminusf- so nobody has tried to trade you a something for a something?

Intern- ha no not really

Fartminusf- what is your purpose in life?

Intern- mmmm I think my purpose in life is… to be the best human being I can be and to love thy neighbor as thyself. I guess that sounds like a good philosophy to me.

Fartminusf- Who founded the Office?

Intern- Kevin did I think, or someone by Grenade so it must have been Matt

Fartminusf- it was Pinski

Intern- was it Pinski?

Fartminusf- yeah, he threw that in there

Intern- oh he did? Just to throw me off

Fartminusf- no, its so when we post this and people read, “who founded the office?”, it will say Pinski.

Intern- oh so it will say Tim Karpinski

Fartminusf- yeah, its just a little shout out that he gave to himself

Intern- haha alright

Fartminus- What’s you favorite Portland Oregon based snowboard glove company?

Intern- uhhh…uhh…hhhgg Grenade, hands down

Fartminusf- top ten at least?

Intern- top ten. Deffinitely top five

Fartminusf- have you ever played submarine?

Intern- uhhhhh what is that?

Fartminusf- (akward silence)

Fartminusf- the most beers you have ever drank?

Intern- in one sitting?

Fartminusf- sure

Intern- mmmm…pfff probably like eight

Fartminusf- do you get paid?

Intern- no, but my paycheck is in the form of knowledge

Fartminusf- should you get paid?

Intern- it would be nice

Fartminusf- do you smoke pot?

Intern- no, never have

Fartminusf- never have? Well that voids the next question which was “what is you parents phone number?” so we could call them and tell them that you smoke pot.

Frtminusf- what is you favorite artist based T-shirt line?

Intern- ahh umm there are a lot of sick ones out there, but the sickest of the sick would have to be Friends United Network

Fartminusf- hipsters or chads?

Intern- chads

Fartminusf- your favorite and least favorite Grenader?

Intern- my favorite ummm Danny Kass, least favorite is fgjshufhwy

Fartminusf- somebody wrote: do you want to give me an HJ?

Intern- I don’t know what that is…..oh a hand job?

Fartminusf- yeah

Intern- im gunna have to decline that offer

Fartminusf- alright, Whorste thing about Portland?

Intern- scene kids

Fartminusf- Favorite Zeppelin song?

Intern- Black Dog

Fartminusf- nice doing business with you.

Intern- yeah, I hope that gives you a little something