my turtle (Seymour) woke up a few days ago from his 3 month winter napping session. Id forgotten what a bastard Seymour is and how his life’s mission is to get away to see the worlds treasures or get squished by a car. today he escaped from his backyard wonderland and it looked as if he had finally gotten the best of me. i made signs and put them up and down my street that said "lost turtle, if found please call.....etc." a child from the catholic school across the street laughed at the signs in my hands and said " you look like your going to cry, haha your wearing a pink shirt(i was wearing a pink shirt, but its a muted pink, closer to off white then pink if i had to pick it myself), haha you lost your turtle are you gonna cry now!?" i turned to the child and remembering my days in private school responded with "haha you have to wear dress pants to school every day, even when its 110 degrees out and your chubby haha". all the children laughed at the boy and started calling him fat. it was great. soon after that a swedish lady a few doors down saw my sign and took me up the street where an old man with a big white beard and glasses lives. he found the bastard Seymour a few hours prior in my street and returned him to me. both the turtle and the fat little boy caught me off guard today, but in the end i kicked both of their asses (not literally of course, although i thought about it with the kid) life is really funny sometimes.


sean t