fartminusf was lucky enough to sit down with the world famous intern at the office in
portland last month. i was in
pdx for an art show fun was having and
thats when i spotted him. we spoke of life and
Norwegian fishing techniques. he bought
alot of beer for the friends united party, i told him to save the
recite and i would pay him back. i never did. i felt bad. i still feel bad. the intern is a small piece of heaven that fell down into our laps. here is his interview. it is boring as shit, but what do you expect from the
fartminusf?


Fartminusf- how many chicks have you been with?
Intern- you
meen like been with
intimetly, like
BEEEN WIITH!?
Fartminusf- yes
Intern- um, well, we are going to have to say zero
Fartminusf- Zero?
Intern- zero,
haha, I kid you not man, I still got my V card.
Fartminusf-
ohh my god so the next question would have been: “have you ever been laid because of your intern status?” but I guess we can’t use that one now
Fartminusf- best trade off anyone has given you in the store?
Intern-
ummm I haven’t really been here that long so that sort of scenario
hasn’t really come up
Fartminusf- so nobody has tried to trade you a something for a something?
Intern- ha no not really
Fartminusf- what is your purpose in life?
Intern-
mmmm I think my purpose in life is… to be the best human being I can be and to love thy neighbor as thyself. I guess that sounds like a good philosophy to me.
Fartminusf- Who founded the Office?
Intern- Kevin did I think, or someone by Grenade so it must have been Matt
Fartminusf- it was
PinskiIntern- was it
Pinski?
Fartminusf- yeah, he threw that in there
Intern- oh he did? Just to throw me off
Fartminusf- no, its so when we post this and people read, “who founded the office?”, it will say
Pinski.
Intern- oh so it will say Tim
KarpinskiFartminusf- yeah, its just a little shout out that he gave to himself
Intern-
haha alright
Fartminus- What’s you favorite Portland Oregon based snowboard glove company?
Intern-
uhhh…
uhh…
hhhgg Grenade, hands down
Fartminusf- top ten at least?
Intern- top ten.
Deffinitely top five
Fartminusf- have you ever played submarine?
Intern-
uhhhhh what is that?
Fartminusf- (
akward silence)
Fartminusf- the most beers you have ever drank?
Intern- in one sitting?
Fartminusf- sure
Intern-
mmmm…
pfff probably like eight
Fartminusf- do you get paid?
Intern- no, but my paycheck is in the form of knowledge
Fartminusf- should you get paid?
Intern- it would be nice
Fartminusf- do you smoke pot?
Intern- no, never have
Fartminusf- never have? Well that voids the next question which was “what is you parents phone number?” so we could call them and tell them that you smoke pot.
Frtminusf- what is you favorite artist based T-shirt line?
Intern-
ahh umm there are a lot of sick ones out there, but the sickest of the sick would have to be Friends United Network
Fartminusf- hipsters or chads?
Intern- chads
Fartminusf- your favorite and least favorite
Grenader?
Intern- my favorite
ummm Danny Kass, least favorite is
fgjshufhwyFartminusf- somebody wrote: do you want to give me an
HJ?
Intern- I don’t know what that is…..oh a hand job?
Fartminusf- yeah
Intern-
im gunna have to decline that offer
Fartminusf- alright,
Whorste thing about Portland?
Intern- scene kids
Fartminusf- Favorite Zeppelin song?
Intern- Black Dog
Fartminusf- nice doing business with you.
Intern- yeah, I hope that gives you a little something